Mother

A mother is a biological and/or social female parent of an offspring. In the case of a mammal such as a human, the biological mother gestates a fertilized ovum, which is called first an embryo, and then a fetus. This gestation occurs in the mother's uterus from conception until the fetus is sufficiently developed to be born. The mother then goes into labor and gives birth. Once the child is born, the mother produces milk in a process called lactation to feed the child; often the mother's breast milk is the child's sole nourishment for the first year or more of the child's life.

The title mother is often given to a woman other than the biological parent, if it is she who fulfills the social role. This is most commonly either an adoptive mother or a stepmother (the biologically unrelated wife of a child's father). Also, in both African-American and lesbian cultures non-biological othermothers exist. Currently, with advances in reproductive technologies, the function of biological motherhood can be split between the genetic mother (who provides the ovum) and the gestational mother (who carries the pregnancy), and in theory neither might be the social mother (the one who brings up the child).

Mothers have historically fulfilled the primary role in the raising of children, but since the late 20th century, the role of the father in child care has been given greater prominence in most Western countries.[1][2]

The experience of motherhood varies greatly depending upon location. The organization Save the Children has ranked the countries of the world, and found that Scandinavian countries are the best places to be a mother, whereas countries in sub-Saharan Africa are the worst.[3] A mother in the bottom 10 countries is over 750 times more likely to die in pregnancy or childbirth, compared to a mother in the top 10 countries, and a mother in the bottom 10 countries is 28 times more likely to see her child die before reaching his or her first birthday.

The Discarded Child

A 1990 report from the House Select Committee on Children, Youth and Families finds that the "discarded child" population has reached 500,000 and will soon grow to 850,000. These are children who live in detention centers, hospitals, foster homes, and mental health facilities. In many cities children are being born with drug addiction or AIDS, and many newborns are abandoned as "boarder babies" in hospitals. The root causes of discarded children are identified by the House committee as alcohol and drug abuse, homelessness, family breakup, poverty, and child abuse. Notice that none of these identified causes lie within the child in the form of genetic defects or biochemical imbalances.

Abandoning A Child...

One of the worst things a women and mother could do is abandon her child. Statistics show the unthinkable decision to leave is being thought over and through until a women's plan is executed. This is a silent epidemic and decision that mothers throughout time have embraced, but have not been able to openly discuss. There is no politically correct way for an American mother to admit she has abandoned her child without experiencing extreme judgment. There is no face to a mother who abandons her child. If she exposes her secrets she will more than likely face a life of negative criticism and judgment from society and especially other woman.

In our country we must bring awareness to this issue by addressing the women who have abandoned their children and understand what was going on prior and during the time they left.
We must try to understand women who leave their children and explore what younger women can learn in order to prevent making decisions that will negatively impact their lives and the lives of their children.

It is difficult for devoted or chemically balanced mothers to understand a mother who has abandoned her child or children. But we must overlook that not all mothers and women will be supportive of exposing this quiet zone.

What happens when they do leave and where are the mothers who have left? What makes one mother devoted to her children and the other mother abandon hers? What happens when you are not adapting in your role as a mother and where are the women who have not adapted?

We should give a voice to the millions of women in hopes that they can be free of their secrets and can learn from their mistakes.

It is thought that deadbeat fathers who do not pay their child support are the leading "bad" parent. Interestingly statewide statistics show that there are more deadbeat mothers than deadbeat fathers when it comes to not paying child support in America. That means there are more women in our country leaving their children and not paying for them.

To fail at being a mother is a heart wrenching duty to carry around with you, especially if the failures could have been prevented medically or financially. Due to untreated postpartum depression, poor decisions based on desperate circumstances and an unplanned child, I felt abandoning my child with his father's family was my only option. Drugs, another man or woman, money, family resentment, whatever the demon, it allows women to leave their children as if they never had them.
So is this an illness, a nationwide epidemic, a psychiatric disease that can be cured through drugs or modem therapy? Are millions of women sick in the head for abusing, thinking of or leaving their children? Maybe, but you and society may never know because it has been kept a secret life of shame.

There are mothers who are genuinely wonderful caregivers and are devoted to their children in a way mothers who abandon their children have more than likely tried to emulate, myself included.

Having a baby, caring for your child and raising them into adulthood is considered to be a woman's greatest achievement. Maternal instinct, motherly love and the incredible bond you experience with your baby are all natural occurrences once you are pregnant and give birth. But what happens when the natural maternal instincts do not come with the baby?

How Abandoning a Child May Occur

I believe that Abandoning a Child stems from three major factors in a woman's life.
1. The mother has suffered from an undetected, untreated Postpartum Depression.

2. The mother's lack of a support system, meaning, little if any interactions with the child's father, the mother's parents, grandparents, friends, other mothers who suffer from Postpartum Depression or activities outside of the home.

3. The mother has a history of untreated lifelong depression, drug addiction or untreated Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome caused by excessive physical, mental or verbal abuse prior to having the baby.

Most females are capable of becoming pregnant after beginning their menstrual cycle. A female can be fourteen, thirteen, I've even known of a pregnant nine year old. Reproduction and motherhood are thought to be something every woman should experience. I believe that given the three circumstances for developing Abandoning a Child, not every female is capable of raising another human being without proper recovery and preparation.

Being a mother and having to care for yourself are two very different worlds with extremely different personal expectations. If you cannot care for yourself before bringing another human being into this world, how can you expect to succeed?

Don't lie to yourself like I did. For many women, especially one who has suffered a lifetime of abuse and depression, having children should be treated as a therapeutic journey prior to becoming pregnant.

Remembering

I remember alot of things alot of bad and some good. When my Mom left I was only a teenager and thought I could be a better parent so I got married and had a child at the age of eighteen I didnt finish school then nor did I want to. I lived with my husband and we had two daughters together by the time my second daughter was born I realized that he was a loser also no job always using drugs and drinking I was falling down to the same leval of person I did not want to become, so I left him in California and moved back to Louisana and stayed with my step father got a job at popeyes fried chicken because I had no schooling no diploma or GED. I worked at night so my Sisters could babysit after school that was my only income. No child support nothing else. I stayed there for two years then I had opened a checking account and me and my friends went shopping I wrote checks all the time and had no money so I went to jail, because in Louisiana that is what happens when you write rubber checks. When I got out of jail about two months later I was put on probation and ordered to pay back everything and that was my intentions I got two jobs at fast food restraunts and was making payments then it got to be too much with having to pay a babysitter and bills because i had no where elso to turn my step father was not talking to me after that stunt. So I ran away! I took my girls and my younger sister that had just turned eighteen and graduated we went back to california.

More later.

I will Write more later.

I have alot of stories too tell and currently researching the subject.

Thanks for visiting!